Fear - More than a feeling
by Rick Harrison
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
from Dune by Frank Herbert
Fear is one of the strongest emotions felt by human beings. It’s origin is in the amygdala of the brain and the behavioural response is adrenaline-loaded avoidance and escape. Regardless of whether a threat is actually life-threatening (e.g. you are about to step onto the road and suddenly all you can hear is the sound of screeching brakes…) and or merely a trigger for the same emotional response (any event which reminds us of a past incident when we experienced pain - such as acute embarassment, physical hurt, sorrow etc).
Around 12 months ago Jo began confronting her greatest fear, a fear shared by most of us - the fear of public speaking.
Last weekend Jo was victorious in conquering her fear. She stood beside me on a stage as we presented the 3 Steps to Soulmate Success to around 200 women. Until then the largest audience that Jo had spoken to was 20 people!
Is fear holding you back from attracting your Soulmate or from some other goal?
Here are Jo’s tips for conquering her fear of public speaking:
1. Remember the first time that those unique feelings associated with the fear were felt by you. Examine what happened , how you felt and how you’ve tried to avoid similar threats ever since. This will always be a contraction or constriction of self-expression as your body prepares you for escape. (This is the first step in facing the fear - getting inside it and understanding it so you look at it and no longer look at your world through its eyes.)
2. Get in touch with your Why. Why you want to overcome the fear. For Jo it was so she could make the difference to relationships that we are both committed to making.
3. The next tip is to take a small step toward conquering the fear. For Jo it was registering in a workshop (run by our mentor Joey Martin) about selling from the stage. Another step was to schedule our first co-presented seminar and then to actually do it.
4. When you plan your mini-victory (it will feel like an impending battle!) prepare yourself fully so that you do not feel exposed, regardless of whether it’s speaking in public or asking someone out. And get support from friends and family who want you to win.
5. Keep challenging yourself with more steps toward your goal and don’t be put off by the occassional “defeat” - despite your original fear you did NOT die!
6. Given that fear causes contraction and constriction - take regular action to achieve your goal.
7. Celebrate the victory!
Like the quote says “Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Last Saturday I was very proud to watch my Soulmate present from the stage and loving it. When she walked off - the fear was gone. Only she remained.
If you find your self expression is contracted and constricted when socialising, then why not use these tips to conquer one of your fears of being a single?
