Soulmate Success

Dear Rick and Jo

I met a great guy and really want to date him. We’re both in our forties and have teen-aged children. We get along well and we’re both really interested in each other.

There’s definitely a spark/chemistry. He’s been divorced 5 months after a 22-year marriage. We’ve gone out twice together for lunch.

I want to date him (and he’s made it clear he wants to date me), but I am not sure that’s the best thing to do given his recent divorce. I’m really drawn to him and I don’t want to lose him–he seems like a perfect match. Yes, my heart is over-taking my common sense. He says he’s ready to move on and get into a new relationship. And, I’m definitely ready. I’ve been divorced for several years and want to get married again.

What do you think about me dating him? My friends say it would be a big mistake and that I would be the “rebound girl.” I definitely don’t want that. So, if I do wait, then how long should I wait until I date him? If I wait, he may meet someone else. What’s the best approach to a situation like this? How do you know if and when someone is ready to date when they’ve experienced a divorce? And what about just taking it slow with him - would that work? What’s your advice?

Carolyn from Cronulla

Dear Carolyn,

Ahh the thrill of new love! Feels great doesn’t it?  Enjoy those feelings yet be very careful to ensure you are making a conscious choice.

How long has he been separated from his former wife?  This is more important in considering the risk of being a rebound girl than the date his divorce papers got stamped!
It’s great that you have not given up and you want to marry again. We’re sure you want this one to be your soulmate relationship, so it is critical that you be an angel not a fool. Do not rush in! Be the chooser.  Trust the attraction you feel and proceed carefully. Continue to date him but date other men too.

Here is a great way that you can maintain contact with him, and develop the awareness, skill and attitude necessary to create a conscious, soulmate relationship. Both of you could engage an RCI coach to ensure you are each aware of the critical criteria that you must have in a relationship for it to endure and flourish. At the end of the coaching program, you’ll both be clear if you’re a match. If yes…great!   If not… you can support each other to attract your soulmate.  Either way it’s a “win win”.

Rick and Jo Harrison
Licensed Coaches with Relationship Coaching Institute

What is YOUR single biggest most burning question you have about how to attract your soulmate? This newsletter is your access to having Rick and Jo answer your question!  Just email your question to info at YourSoulmateSuccess.com

Sick of kissing frogs?  Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your FREE CD and video e-Course valued at $297.

by Rick and Jo Harrison

How do you manage your mind? The complex relationship between the old brain and the cerebral cortex can be confusing. What’s real? What’s just an opinion? Why are my feelings so strong about this if it’s not real?

Studies into how the human brain works have revealed that our old brain,  comprised of the brain stem and the limbic system operate like an automated filter system.  The purpose of this filter system is to take the messages received by all our senses and make them fit into its blueprint for your survival and safety.  The operations of the old brain occur at an unconscious level and we default to the old brain blueprint for every experience that we encounter.

The key message here is that when the blueprint was designed - we were children. Our automatic safety response system was designed by an upset child!  You may have noticed that many of your beliefs about your self irritate and annoy you because they are childish!  For Rick it seems like he is wasting energy and time arguing with himself.

Now the good news is - the new brain (the cerebral cortex) can retrain the old brain or re-design your default survival system.  It just takes practice and it is done one belief at a time.  This is what is meant by “treading a new neural pathway”.

Research by NASA scientsists has shown that it takes 30 days to create a new habit or a new belief system at the level of the old brain.

jouranlOne of the most powerful ways of retraining the old brain is to keep a journal that logs events or evidence which prove the new belief to be true.  Rick has struggled since childhood with his old brain telling him he is not successful and his old brain constantly and automatically is seeking evidence to re-inforce this point of view. The outcome is a constant battle between the new brain identifying evidence of success and the old brain proving lack of success. You may be familiar with this dynamic which shows up as “I know I’m successful but feel like a failure” or “I know I’m a good catch but I feel like no one will want me” … Is this pattern familiar to you?

Rick has embarked on a practice designed to retrain the old brain. Each night he is to meditate (a usual practice before sleep) and, following that, write down in his journal 3 things about his day that show he was successful. After 30 days his relationship to himself and his success should flip. Jo will keep you posted!

Why not adopt this practice to flip one of your own demons!

Sick of kissing frogs?  Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your FREE CD and video e-Course valued at $297.

by Rick and Jo Harrison

As part of our ongoing development as a company dedicated to creating soulmate relationships, Rick did some research in the local bookstore.

We were reminded of universal laws and the importance of taking time to “research” potential partners before getting too serious, no matter how good it feels!

As Rick reviewed the books on love and dating at the local bookshop, he noticed that all the books about being single focused on how to attract a partner. Pages of tips on self confidence, presentation, body language, how to come across as a good match and so on. All about Attraction.

In these days of instant gratification, we have been trained to expect that our wants and desires will be satisfied quickly and with minimal effort.  Fast food, one night stands, internet dating are just a few of the examples of how our society is obsessed with speed and convenience ahead of  “quality”.

What’s more important to you?  Attracting a partner OR creating a lasting, loving, passionate, delicious relationship (a soulmate relationship)?

Let’s see how your honest answer to this question could remove many of the barriers to attracting your soulmate!

If you answered “attracting a partner” - good on you for being truthful with yourself. And if you truthfully answered “creating a soulmate relationship”, good on you for valuing the most important ingredient for a happy and successful life.

You might be asking … “but what’s wrong with trying to attract a partner? Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to attract a partner, it’s just that you may be trying to put the “cart before the horse”!   Look at your past relationships that preceded your current single status. I’m sure most of us will see that we attracted the partner first then worked on the relationship to make it happy and fulfilling.  WE GOT IT BACK TO FRONT!

In all the books Rick perused, there were only a few pages allocated to the MOST IMPORTANT step to attracting your soulmate.  The step that comes before you try to attract a partner is Getting Ready.  How many failed projects, expeditions or adventures in history failed because the people involved started before they were really ready? The examples are plentiful and I’m sure that you can all identify examples from your own lives.  The Universal Law is to be ready and prepared before embarking on any worthwhile endeavour, especially as important as attracting your soulmate!

Getting ready for Soulmate Success is all about being clear.
Being clear about - who you want to be for the world; how you need to develop to fulfill that; the kind of person you must be with in order to feel supported in your life purpose; how to test your relationship criteria so that you choose a soulmate for your next relationship instead of more of the same!

Sick of kissing frogs?  Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your FREE CD and video e-Course valued at $297.