Soulmate Success

Dear Rick and Jo,

“I met a wonderful woman at a friend’s home over Thanksgiving.  We’re both divorced, in our mid-forties.  We naturally connected and started going out casually right after that time.  We have fun together — going out to eat, dancing, different activities — but the relationship is obviously really new to both of us.  We haven’t discussed any expectations or plans for the future.
I don’t have any plans for anything beyond a basic dating relationship.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and it’s causing me a bit of concern.  I don’t love her, but I like her.  At the same time, she hasn’t said she loves me either.  Way too early for that!  My concern is . how do I handle Valentine’s Day? Certainly, I want to go out to dinner and enjoy the evening with her, but at the same time, I don’t want to give her the wrong impression.

What should I say or do, or rather, NOT say or do, to avoid sending the wrong message?  I want to be friends and that’s it for now.  Any thoughts?”

Love
Steve from Savannah

Dear Steve from Savannah,

We appreciate that you are concerned for your new friend’s feelings.  We’d like to ask you what you mean by “you don’t have plans for anything beyond a basic dating relationship”.  It seems to us that perhaps you want to date recreationally.

Recreational dating is when singles meet and date for fun and socialisation, with no expectations. It can be a stage in the process of preparing for a new relationship or it can be a way to socialise while you focus on other areas of life.  However for recreational dating to really work, you must be completely open and honest with your partner(s) about the physical and emotional boundaries you want.

It sounds like you may need to have that conversation with this woman – say what you want and walk the talk.  Which then begs the question:  Why are you seeing her on Valentine’s Day if she is not your Valentine?   Whatever the answer, get clear about the benefits of recreational dating for each of you and make your Valentine’s Day date the opportunity to have that straight conversation about recreational dating.

Finally Steve, have fun and for more information about recreational dating, contact an RCI coach.  Here’s to your Soumate Success!

Rick and Jo Harrison

What is YOUR single biggest most burning question you have about how to attract your soulmate? This newsletter is your access to having Rick and Jo answer your question!  Just email your question to info at YourSoulmateSuccess.com

Sick of kissing frogs?  Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your FREE CD and video e-Course valued at $297.

By Rick and Jo Harrison

1.    First Impressions Count. Your appearance and body language count for 55% of the initial impression you make with someone.  Your style of speaking counts for 38%, leaving a mere 7% of initial impressions based on what you actually say.  Develop your ability to convey attraction through non-verbal signals so you can “reach out” without embarrassment.

2.    Non-Verbal Skills.
•    Physical Proximity. Be close to indicate attraction, but not so close that you convey the wrong message!
•    Mirror. By mirroring your partner’s posture you will be more easily accepted and create a more comfortable space for both of you to interact.
•    Non-verbal Expression. SMILE and hold eye contact.  Relax your face and let it express your feelings. Don’t stare, but if you make eye contact for just one second and they hold the contact, look away and try again. If they meet your gaze for a second time and hold for at least one second … that is a welcome sign!
•    Touch. Be appropriate and remember that merely a light touch on the arm can have a powerful and far-reaching impact.

3.    Be yourself.  Use your best assets to convey interest but do not overdue do it. Showing off or trying to impress is likely to attract the wrong kind of suitor whilst turning off the right kind of suitor!

4.    Pick a Good Match.  While there are always exceptions, your best chance of success will come by flirting with someone who is likely to be interested in you.  Try people with a similar level of good looks.  Don’t flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.

5.    Read their signals. Learn to read their non-verbal signals, so you have greater likelihood of success, by applying the above from the perspective of being the receiver of a signal.

6.     Give yourself permission to make mistakes while you learn and develop your flirting skills.  Bringing a sense of humour to your non-verbal flirting game will really help.

Sick of kissing frogs?  Go to www.SecretsToSoulmateSuccess.com to receive your FREE CD and video e-Course valued at $297.